your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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