HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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