Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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