Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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