im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
