I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it because I queefed?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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