The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
ttyl tear gas
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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