Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
