A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize