i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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