It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
