miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
