I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
