I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize