I'm drive I can fine osifer
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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