I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
