Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
