Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
