my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize