how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How external is "for external use only"?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
