North Korea, Best Korea!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
