Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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