My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
