Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Drunk is not a location!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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