he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize