You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
