can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
