I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
