found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
