I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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