I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize