Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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