The beer is more important than you right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
