Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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