i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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