also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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