Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
