Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Someone shattered a urinal.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Text me some of your sweat
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
