We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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