But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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