dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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