im gay
i know
yea but for you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
