brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
