he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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