oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
