i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
