you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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