oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
These tits shall not be calmed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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