if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Two words: nipple clamps
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