i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
