btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
