There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
