Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
