she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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