Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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