oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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