i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
