Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
