i love accidental penises.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He felt like a one man threesome
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
