when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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