you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
