i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
