Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
